Mission Statement

To provide a place for parents and family members to meet and share experience, strength, give hope and awareness, to other families who have similar experiences raising children with ADD/ADHD, SPD, Anxiety, ASD, mental health diagnosis, developmental and behavioral challenges. Through sharing in this experience of raising these hard to raise kids, we grow stronger and more resilient.

Easy to Love is a 501 (C) (3) Non-Profit Organization

Monday, October 15, 2012

Helicopter Parenting

A few words about the term "helicopter parent."  Wiki defines helicopter parenting as... a colloquial term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to their child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions.  I always considered it a positive to be "involved" with my kids, now it's so negative.  My parents were much more concerned with parties in the 60's and 70's - I wanted to do things differently, now that's not o.k.  The thing is...I would like to not be as involved, not hovering, not reminding, but after a year of my older son being bullied in Kindergarten - yes, Kindergarten!  I decided to pay more attention.  So, on the first day of school when my kid begins to wrestle with some other kids, I stood there, trying not to panic, and I watched these little boys, one in particular, get more and more aggressive and I watched my son say to them - STOP, but no one is listening.  I stood there and then I couldn't take it any longer.  I went over and told this little boy, again that he said "to get off." "I heard him clearly, now get OFF!"  The kid just looked at me horrified. I think he is still terrified of me.  Is this what they mean?  Am I a helicopter parent?

Am I a helicopter parent? My kid is loosing sleep at night about making friends and is crying at night because he thinks he's bossy and all of the two friends he's made want to play soccer and my kid is scared to death to play sports because he basically becomes a target?  Which is heartbreaking if you have been there.  I kept it very simple, but that's because there are no words.  I shudder to think of what his social situation might be if I don't intervene now.  Lord, help me in Junior High. So, I asked the teacher if she had noticed this and what she plans to do about it? She asked me if I had had some play dates?  I have.  In fact, I have had several.  So, I waited some more and went into see the school counselor.  I asked if she would be holding a social skills group this year? She told me that they usually do this for Kindergarten age kids.  I insisted there was a need.  I just want him to have other options at school.  Maybe the library?  Maybe the hall monitor?  Lunch helper? Teacher helper?  Chess Club? Something that gives him a positive roll and fosters some other activity.  I am awaiting her response after talking to the teacher.  Uugh.  I hate the term - Helicopter Mom.  I want what all Mom's want - there kid to be happy and healthy, surrounded by a group of people who see what great traits he has.  Is that so bad?  Jen

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