To the Mom who Said my Child Doesn't Care...

Dear Mom Who Said my Child Doesn't Care:

I can see how she can come across that way to those who don't know her, she can seem distant, distracted and aloof. I know that she needs to leave play time frequently for a "break" and that there are times she is trying to control peers. I know all of these things. I understand they make things hard and that not everyone will understand her quirks.

Here is what I also know. She is one of the most loving, open and accepting children I have ever met. She will play with the child sitting alone.  She will give the best hugs and kisses, loves to snuggle and hold hands, and the people in her world are everything to her.

 She feels everything deeply and more than most of us. The entire world of sounds, smells, feelings and more are coming at her at full force all the time. The result? Sometimes over the top reactions, needing to leave when everyone is still playing, yelling and acting out. I was open and honest with you. I told you where she struggled and how you can help make things easier. I trusted you with her well being at play dates and even attempted a slumber party. Silly me. I should have known that even though you said you understood - you didn't.
As a mommabear myself, I understand feeling like you needed to protect your child and watching her have hurt feelings was tough. I am just wondering in what world you thought that "fixing things" was coming to my house and not only unleashing your verbal spewing on me about all the things "wrong" but looking at my child and making sure she was clear your were talking about her. Emphasizing each word "there is something wrong with you" "you don't care about anyone" "You will NEVER get to play with L again". Congratulations. You just bullied a 6 year old.

Did you see her face? That child you so clearly think doesn't care? Because I did. Heartbreak. Fear. Confusion. If you would have been a fly on our wall you would have seen the tears. You would have heard her asking heartbreaking questions and crying that no one ever wants to be her friend. You would have heard her begging to go say sorry, make it right and that she will never take a "break" again.

I had to level with my 6 year old and explain to this Innocent sweet little princess that there are bullies out there and that they are not always children. I had to tell her that even though I know she loves playing with your little girl, that things would be different. I had to take a little piece of her innocents and break a little piece of her heart all because you chose ignorance that day.

 I will admit. I am still so angry and hurt for my little girl. Angry that she felt like she needed to apologize for being her. Angry that you pulled her in to something that could have been discussed reasonably between the two of us. Just ANGRY. But I am working on moving on, we are moving forward and learned a lot from this experience.

I am hoping you have too.

Sincerely,
mom across the way

Parent Teacher Communication Log

As I mentioned in the previous blog, I am a little freaked out about Kindergarten. Emma was tested before summer by the school district and we found that she is a pretty behind academically, we also have some fine motor & sensory issues that need to be addressed. We thankfully easily got an IEP set up for her so that she will have all the resources she needs to succeed. That being said, I want this to be a positive and fun experience for her and one that goes as seamlessly as possible. I have been brainstorming and pinteresting ideas to help. A lot of 'Parent Teacher Communication Logs' popped up in my search. Some were printables, binders etc. I didn't love any and they seemed like they would makes things more complicated. I remember Jen had a simple notebook for back and forth with Hudson & decided that was the way I would go. Simple. But of course, I have to make things not as simple :) I decided to make it girly & cutesy - because a little fluff never hurt anyone!

 

Supplies:
Composition Notebook (ridiculously cheap right now)

Scrapbook paper & coordinating stickers
Modge Podge
Sponge brush
Pen (I used a fine tip sharpe to write over modge podge)

 

I cut the paper to size and then modge podged it down. I decorated the way I wanted and then covered with a thin coat of Modge Podge. I also covered the front inside cover that was full of useless info (ya know.. math formulas & such) with a coordinating paper. On that inside covered I filled it with my contact info and some fun little facts about Miss Emma.

 

What I will use it for: Little notes back and forth with both her Kindergarten & resource teacher. They can send me concerns, good days, upcoming info etc. & I can do the same.

Stay tuned for more "Back to School" projects!

 

Lindsay

Schedules for Special Needs Families {& a giveaway!}

{Jen}

At my core I am a planner.  I also was a teacher.  I quickly learned that the best way to keep my students on track and learning regardless of what emergency took me out of the classroom, was ROUTINE.  I also ironically was the teacher that was willing to take on the higher functioning autistic kids.  So, of course - God brought me one of my very own.  I am convinced because he knew I could handle it.  I wish I was one of those parents that loved to scrapbook and craft, but sadly I am not.  I feel there are many other ways I'd like to spend my time.  So, I schedule and plan and use many electronic tools.  

One of the basic things I have used, is just that simple, routine.  We wake at the same time.  We have the same chocolate milk every morning.  The kids get 1 hour of TV in the morning and then by 7:30 a.m the TV is off.  I have even gone so far as to have the sleep timer on the TV set to sleep at 7:30 a.m. and hid the remote. Then it's dress, wash, brush and back down for breakfast.  I start getting them in the car 10 minutes before I need them in the car so that I don't need to scream and sometime they are fast and they sit in the car until I can grab all I need and get to the car.  Bed time is also a routine and the time rarely fluctuates.  

On Sunday nights, I also put all of of the outfits the boys are going to wear into a 5 pocket bin in their closet.  I include undies, socks, shirt and pants.  That way I don't have a whole lot of time wasting in the morning.  Sometime the older one is way into having more of a say so so he helps put it together on Sunday.  This also gives us a chance to talk about the week ahead and take a look at the calendar he has posted on the wall.  

Visual calendars have also been quite helpful for me.  What I mean by that is that I use a calendar with big enough squares, like a desktop size, or I have even found a wall laminate one to draw pictures of what is going happen in the days days ahead. If my husband is going to be out of town, I can draw what will happ on the days leading up to my husbands return. "One more sleep until Dad gets home."

One more thing that I have to say I use less and less is an idea called "backwardschaining."  When I was trying to get Hudson to dress himself, he had trouble with the order of the steps.  So I made a chain of pictures in backwards order, something like this,

Pants: button the pants, zip the zipper, then pull the pants to your waist, do you see your toes?, then your right leg, do you see your toes?, put in your left leg, unzip the zipper, unbutton the button, put the pants in your lap.

His job was to follow the chain of pictures to the top that culminated in the successful picture of him with his pants on.  It sounds weird but it worked and he dresses himself now.

I also love love love an app called iPrompts, $39.99  I use it on my iPad and on my phone. It was pretty pricey for an app, but I needed something that was easy to use and that could help with both my kids not just the special needs one.  iPrompts assists me in making picture schedules on the fly and also allows me to make countdown timers.  I used this a lot when l needed to set a time limit on video games and the TV or just set a timer on sharing a toy.  I can search the web for an image or even just upload one of my own.  Uploading my own images was really helpful when we were adjusting to a new bus driver or any new schedule, because I could use actual pictures of Hudson and Hudson's new bus driver.  Effective and no laminating!

I hope all of this is helpful.  I have to say that all of this organizing for the kids all goes out the window if I haven't been organized enough to take care of myself.  I think the thing that is most helpful for me is to get enough sleep.  I go to bed at 9 and wake up at 5 a.m. to have some quiet time to myself before the day begins.  If I don't get enough sleep it derails the whole day.  Best of luck to you.  Let us know what you are doing to keep your kids moving forward.

{Lindsay} 

Like Jen, I have always been one to appreciate a schedule; I am a “planner” by nature and have never been one to fly by the seat of my pants. Before Emma it was just something I did, after Emma (and my ah ha moment!) I realized that that way of life was the only way if I wanted to keep my sanity and for Emma to thrive. Emma has anxiety, she likes knowing what to expect. If she feels like she has some type of control over things that are going on it really helps ease some of the anxiousness.  By creating visual schedules for her, she felt like she was in control and we avoid meltdowns and anxiety. When Emma was 3, I created our first visual schedule. It was a flip book made with 4X4 pieces of cardstock. I used a variety of pictures, clip art & hand drawn doodles for almost all aspects of our life that I could easily switch around for each day.  We used this for about a year & then switched to a less rigid type of schedule, one sheet with small photos and an overview of our day. Here is what that looked like, I had a sheet for different times of our day and the activities that went with them. 

We have just now gotten to a point we are not using a visual schedule for our entire day.  Before bed we go over what our plans are for the day and will draw a few of the major things on a small dry erase board. If she seems to be feeling anxious about something I will have her go and take a look at it in her room. It was a slow progression to have her let go of some control and move to a less restrictive schedule. One thing that we have not been able to get rid of yet are social stories. If there is a big event or change, I create a quick doodle book of what to expect and when. We have a crazy few months of weddings, me going on vacation and other family events. All of these are stressful and busy and she will need to know ahead of time what to expect. I am actually contemplating switching over to a social story app... it sounds so much easier than drawing everything!

As a family we do maintain a structured schedule.  Morning routine and bedtime are all consistent and rarely deviate. Sometimes things happen but for the most part we all know what to expect. On occasion there is some resistance to what needs to be done (bed usually) but very little. She will argue for a minute and then just go and lay down, she knows it is not something that is up for discussion.... now if she actually sleeps or not is a different story entirely! Our afternoons are less structured but we still have a general schedule that we follow. 

I also have a “command center” in our mudroom with a dry erase calendar and bulletin board for each child and all of their different papers from school. This is our hub - everything is on that calendar. My mom & I share a house and I care for my brother (Ethan - 8 yrs. old) during the day, having all of our appointments & to do's in one place is a life and sanity saver.  I also always have a day planner and my home management binder. All of these things help keep our crazy  life organized. We have so much going on from appointments, extracurricular, work schedules etc. I know that our lives would be unmanageable without the structure and schedules we have. Perfect it is not, and there are days or a few of them in a row that I drop the ball and the schedule gets lack. The funny thing is, on those "break" days, our days are much harder. There is more fighting, crabby kids, crabby mom and I don't get nearly as much done.

Now time for the giveaway, which of course is something to help you get organized! Our giveaway is a Family Planner (home management) binder with blank calendars, notes pages, menus, zipper pouch & business card holder. It is also 3 ring so you can add to it! You will also get an ‘On the Go Filer’. I use this for all things Emma – it has medical info, school info, paperwork I need to fill out etc. It is so nice to have all of her info in one spot that I can just grab and go.  

To enter you must be a follower on this blog & leave a comment on this post letting us know how what type of schedule you are using, don’t forget to leave your name & email so we can let you know if you are the winner. The giveaway will close on Thursday May 4^th @ 1155apm and the winner will be announced Friday! Good luck, we can’t wait to hear what works for you!

Trying to stay on top of it all

This post has morphed over the last couple weeks I have been working on it. It originally was suppose to be a post on organization, especially for our special needs kids. I feel that being organized is an invaluable tool to stay on top of the mountain of paperwork, appointments etc. that our kids have. As I worked on the post it became more of a personal story of the struggles over the last few years. I decided that despite things beyond my control I wanted to be happy. So here we go!

Let me start this post by saying that I am not a therapist, parent expert, happiness expert, organizing or life expert. I have found a system both in my home and for me that helps me stay on top of this crazy life both physically and emotionally. I am happy. Not every day, not all the time – but in general I am happy with the life I have created for myself and my daughter. It’s not easy and I have days that I just want to throw in the towel, but I work hard to keep myself, my home and my priorities in check. There are more times than I would like to admit that my bathroom goes a little longer than it should without being cleaned and my room looks more reminiscent of Monica’s (from Friend’s) secret closet than an actual bedroom. Don’t even get me started on the endless mountains of laundry! Bottom line, I have 20 things going on any given day. From Emma’s school, dance, appointments, illnesses and play dates, to my list of maintaining a home, schedule, work, support group, family and trying to eek out some mommy time. I constantly feel like I am going 10 directions and am trying to keep the juggling act going.  Being organized helps me feel in control and keep on top everything we have going so I & most importantly Emma don’t get overloaded. Having a place for schedules, IEP paperwork, school contact, babysitter info etc. makes life just a little easier. For me, my Home Management Binder is my life saver. It keeps everyone coordinated and all the important paperwork in one place. In one book I can go over our weekly schedule, menu, needed groceries, school stuff and budgets all in one sitting. It’s a time and sanity saver. I have always enjoyed organizing and got a little too excited over a new day planner, but things fell through the cracks in a huge way after having Emma. Here’s a little story of what it took for me to check in on myself and my life and how the glorious Home Management Binder came to be. ..

Emma was a sick and very fussy baby. She slept 4ish hours and we had constant ER visits, doctor’s visit and the eventual feeding tube. I was getting 2-3 hours a sleep a night and my marriage was all but over. I was stressed, tired, miserable and my life was in shambles around me – both figurative and literally. The house was a disaster… like embarrassed to have anyone come to the door disaster. I looked and felt a hot mess and sort of just existed. I was 110% invested in Emma’s care, but let everything about who I was go. I was not the fun, talkative and happy person I once had been. One day, I was watching a couple little girls, my brother (he was 4 at the time) and of course Em. I was feeding Emma in her highchair, I turned to take a few steps to tell the kids to stop this or that and Emma went out after me. I was literally a foot away when she landed on the floor. (Side note: no judgments needed on the seatbelt end of things… I thought since I was going to be right there it would be fine. After this – she was strapped in tight even if I was sitting there with her). Emma hit her head and I immediately called 9-1-1 in absolute hysterics … inconsolable crazy lady hysterics. By the time 4 ambulances, 3 policemen and 2 fire trucks arrived Emma was done crying and was hanging out no worse for the ware. They told us to take her to PCMC to be checked out, but thought she looked fine. I however, was far from it. I remember sitting in the ER room as they observed her. Emma’s dad was there, he had moved out but at that point it was a “take a break and see” type thing. As Emma slept in my arms I spent the time thinking about all that had happened. How was this my life? This is not even close to what I imagined it would be. I am unhappy, tired and frazzled all the time. My house is a disaster and I don’t know my behind from my elbow. Right then and there I decided to make some serious changes.  I spent the 4 hours Emma was being observed making a mental list of all the things I needed to get in order, when I went home I wrote it all down. This was my actual list; I have just added the explanations.

#1: Make a final decision on marriage. We were both miserable, wanted completely different things and fought all the time. This was not something I wanted Emma around and I felt that I deserved to be happy as well. The decision was made and paperwork was filed about a month later. I have not looked back since and am without a doubt sure I made the right decision for my family. #2:  Figure out a home management system. This is when I came up with the binder. This was pre-pinterest so I just had to wing it!  It is broken up into: schedules, menus, home, Emma, Lindsay, Family.
.#3: ORGANIZE EVERYTHING!!!! This one took me a while. I had to focus on one area of the house a week to work on. I would spend 30 minutes a day digging myself out of the nuttiness I had let happen.
#4: I need ME TIME. This was easier said than done and still is, but I have found I am better mom and person if I have just a couple hours to myself.
#5: Get out of the house & do fun things. The kids were happier, I was happier and we were making some fun memories, even across the street at the park or on a nature walk. Sometimes it is still SO MUCH WORK I just don’t want to go anywhere but I found for us this was one of the most important changes I made for our family.

I also set goals - I have a both a family and personal mission statement and set seasonal goals which are divided into “FAMILY GOALS”, “PERSONAL GOALS” & “EMMA’S GOALS”. We don’t always meet all of our seasonal goals, but we are always working towards them.

It took a scary situation to knock me out of my life funk. I have to “check in” with myself every so often when I feel myself start to get crabby or overwhelmed. It’s been 4 years since then and I am still working hard to stick with those goals I set in PCMC ER. We have had many ups and downs since then with both Emma’s health and development. Having all of her information organized and pulled together has been an invaluable tool in our journey. I can quickly thumb through her history and give medication dates or side effects, let the GI know the days she had a stomach ache etc. In the end this leads to more thorough care for Emma.

I do want to finish up by saying; I am not in any way trying to be on a soap box. I know that everyone copes with things differently and everyone does things differently. We are all working so hard to help our kids and keep on top of everything. My only hope from this blog post is to let people know that I have and continue to have struggles along the way. I work hard to try and be the best mom I can, but sometimes feel like I am losing my mind or failing as a parent. This group has been such an amazing addition to my life. I have formed wonderful relationships with people and have a space every month to share the struggles. 

Lindsay

*If you are interested in more on “the binder” J Feel free to email me. I am happy to share templates and pintables! Just email me at utaheasy2love@gmail.com

Summer Goals

Every season change I set new goals for Miss Emma {with the exception of winter... i slacked in all areas and it shows yikes!}

Anywho, I thought I would share what we will be working on. I am a very visual person and like to have a 'plan' for as much as I can. I have had to give up a lot of my planning with Em... but I will never stop making lists!! :) Emma will be 4 1/2 this summer and so I tried to set goals both educationally & behaviorally.

* Letter & Number Recognition

* Writing grip

* Work on appropriate social skills

* Get anxiety & sleep under control

*Increase calories during the day to avoid waking in the night hungry

* "Stranger Danger" & Private parts

Side note did you know that 1 & 4 girls are sexually abused & 1 & 6 boys are? Special needs children are more at risk than "typical" children.

* Asking for things that she wants without screaming and waiting patiently.

I know this is a lot of goal for her and I understand that we may not "pass off" all of them. But having an idea where we are really works for us!

* Lindsay

I will be sharing my "Summer Fun Planner" next week on the blog!

Craziness!

I finally decided to sit down and write a little blog, and I am going to finish this time! Things have been a little nuts around here. We got into a good routine during the winter, good schedules, good moods and mostly regulated. It's like life knew I was feeling a little to comfortable so it decided to stir things up. Emma started having major stomach issues again. In the past this was a huge issue (feeding tube, hospitals etc) things over the last year and a half had mellowed other than a sensitive stomach. Suddenly we were dealing with refusals to eat and drink, diarrhea and horrible stomach pain. We found out she had C. Diff and a massive yeast overgrowth in her digestive track. Although yeast is something that she has chronically struggled with from the beginning, I wasn't expecting C. Diff and have no idea how she got it. Then she got an ear infection, sinus infection and a staph infection. This all happened in the course of 2 months. Needless to say we have been spending a lot of time in the doctors office along with a trip to the ER for a rash that spread over her entire body - blech. We keep going in a vicious circle - get rid of the yeast and C. Diff then she gets an infection and needs antibiotics which then causes yeast and effects the C.Diff.

Another major side effect of being so sick is it obviously and understandably effects her mood and behavior. She was all over the place.

We are still dealing with stomach issues as of now, her GI thinks that C.Diff spores are still looming. She is being retested this week and will possibly need another round of the medication. She is also not back on track as far as moods (lots of ups and downs) and she continues to be SO un-regulated in the sensory department! I know some of the issue is I have been lax on the schedule (which she thrives on) because of the illnesses. I am hoping that because we SEEM to be getting her health back on track {KNOCK ON WOOD!!} we can get our schedule back on track. Hoping life cooperates!!

On a happy note, the beautiful weather = LOTs of time outside. Emma loves it! She could live in our backyard!!

Photo is from a trip to Wheeler Farm with her buddy (& uncle) Ethan. Emma LOVES animals and had fun seeing the baby cow, sheep & goats!

*Lindsay

Dancing In the Kitchen: Songs Celebrating the Joy of Food!

A couple of months ago I won a copy of Dancing in the Kitchen. It looked adorable and I was pretty excited. Eating and food is something that has always been a struggle for Emma. It took a long time (like in the last 6 months) that Emma actually enjoyed the idea of eating. Food / Eating is a struggle for her, period. I am always looking for ideas to help!

When I got this CD I had already made a commitment to start involving Emma more in the food process. Let her help me make her meals (especially lunch when it is just the 2 of us), help decide what we are having etc. So when this CD came I decided to add that to the mix. Emma LOVED the music and had a lot of fun dancing and stirring. The songs are catchy and we actually have had so much fun listening to them, being silly and making food fun, Emma even started asking to listen to it in the car!

Bottom line- its fun. cute. and does celebrate the joy of food. Which for a lot of our kiddos is a struggle.

Visit My Munch Bug for a link to purchase and great site with some great resources!

Lindsay

Busy!

Sorry it has been so long since either of us have updated the blog! The holidays were insane and both of our little ones turned 4 within a couple days of Christmas... it has sort of been a marathon!

Here is a quick overview of what we have been up too!

Christmas went well, Emma was excited to see what Santa brought (a new doll with lots of accessories!) and overall did really well throughout Christmas Eve and Day.

Emma's Birthday was the day after Christmas. e had a small family party (Rapunzel themed of course!) and she did much better than I had anticipated. She was definitely past done by that evening! She held it together though, with a lot of people, a lot of expectations and limited down time. It took Emma a few days to re-coup from all the excitement and change in routine, we were both really happy when everything got back to "normal" what ever that means! :)

above:

Christmas Eve with her favorite person mr. ethan! & Christmas morning playing

with her toys from Santa!

above:

Emma in her Tangled Birthday attire & getting ready for bed in her new Tangled Jammies and bed set that she got for her Birthday! She was IN heaven and SO excited to sleep in her own bed!

Emma started a new preschool through Davis County Schools, it was so nice to get her back into a school after graduating from the Children's Center in November. Emma thrives in school and does really well! So far I have been impressed with the teachers and Emma seems to really like them as well. Emma love playing in the Kitchen center and is learning to write her name!

Emma continues to do amazing in her dance class and loves her teacher Miss Katie!

We continue to plug along. Everyday is a learning experience, Emma has made A TON a progress and I am seeing a "big girl" start to emerge. With all of our steps forward there have been many steps back, we are working through struggles while still celebrating her amazing successes! I continue to fight for Miss Em to make sure she has every opportunity available to get the tools she needs!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and is doing well! I am SO excited about this years meetings! Can't wait to see some old faces and meet some new ones!

Lindsay

Deseret News Article

We are so excited that Lois Collins from the Deseret News decided to do a post on raising challenging children. She talked about the group we started and the challenges we face. The article is wonderful!
Click HERE to go to the story.
we hope that this article spreads awareness, compassion and open discussions!!

Where I have been...

I have attempted to post several times over the last couple months and have several drafts floating around that are all unfinished! I am FINALLY sitting down and filling you all in! Emma has had a rough couple months. Lots of ear infections, gtube infections, an unexplained fever that was almost daily for 2 weeks, etc. After 3 ear infections in a month we went to see the ENT, her tubes were no longer working after only 8 months. It was time to replace the tubes, they also decided to look in her sinus' and see if there was infection there that was causing the fevers. 3 days before surgery Emma got tonsillitis and the ENT decided to take out her tonsils as well (she had her adenoids out last year).

Surgery day was September 22, it went pretty well. Her tonsils had infection in them and her sinus' were packed with infection, more than the doctor even expected. The first couple days were alright, a little rough but manageable. By day 3 it was insanity... not sleeping, in pain, so sick and started having serious stomach issues. Day 5 she was still not healing and they put her on a 3 day round of steroids, day 7 after an all night vomiting episode we were back at our pediatrician. with serious weight loss, not eating/drinking and lethargy. We had to use the tube to give her some calories/hydration and they gave Emma some medication to help ease the upset stomach.

Last week was her first week back at school, she struggled and was exhausted by the time she got home. But, she seemed happy to be getting back to her normal. We have follow ups scheduled to monitor her weight and she seems to have healed from surgery. It was a BRUTAL 16 days! Now that she is feeling better, I am really optimistic that this surgery will help her not get sick so often! Fingers crossed.

On some positives, Emma's development was tested and she is right in the average range in speech and cognitive. Her speech has come WAY up. We have had huge milestones at home including getting off the bottle, potty training and sleeping in her own bed. Emma is in a ballet/tap group and LOVES it, she is just in heaven for an hour a day. She listens to the teacher and works hard to understand the dance moves. We will also be getting back to swimming lessons now that she is feeling better.

Emma's anxiety and sensory issues are our struggles right now, but things are evolving. With the growth in Emma's verbal skills she is able to communicate when she needs a break, squeeze or is just "mad". Every day is a new day and things shift and change. Some days are amazing and others feel like we are spinning our wheels until bedtime. We are still working on socialization as Emma prefers to play alone. We are happy we were able to get back in to Julia our OT, weekly OT makes a world of difference for Emma. We are also participating in a 8 week Sensory group through Easter Seals, last week was the first one and it was great!

So there is the update on us and here are a few updates on the group:
We are going to be in this weekends Deseret News! Keep your eye out!

This months meetings are talking about feeding issues/ nutrition. Jen is out of town for the Salt Lake meeting but will be back for the Davis County. We will be bringing books that have been helpful to us, some handouts and ideas. We look forward to hearing your ideas!

Salt Lake Meeting 10/12 @ The Sharing place (1695 East 3300 South) - 7pm

Davis County Meeting 10/26 @ Davis Behavioral Health (934 South Main Street #6 Layton)- 7pm

As always, feel free to contact myself or Jen via email or phone with any questions!!

Lindsay

Easy to Love But Hard to Raise BOOK REVIEW

Easy to Love But Hard to Raise

Edited by: Kay Marner & Adrienne Ehlert Bashista

When my advance copy review arrived last weekend I was so excited! I could not wait to start reading the book that Kay & Adrienne had put together. As I am sure many of you know finding time to read can be nearly impossible, but for whatever reason things worked out during the week. I had two free mornings while Emma was in school. Little or no errands to run and didn’t want to waste hours of time driving the 40 minutes to and from our house- not mention the gas! I parked my behind at a local coffee shop, coffee and book in hand and started reading.

The stories shared in this book are all wonderfully and brutally honest. I was touched in many ways while reading these stories. Some simply touched my heart. Parents like me that willingly sacrifice to make sure we are giving our children everything & anything, including our entire self. Others touched a deep raw nerve, the parents who wrote in black and white the struggles they have faced as parents & as a family. It was cathartic for me to read parents admit that they question themselves, question God and wonder where the hell did the fantasy of becoming a parent go? Why is this so hard? And the worst, what am I doing wrong? This book literally helped me work through my own guilt through theirs.

The expert advice throughout this book offered wonderful insight and ideas from a professional level. I have already highlighted sections of pages, dog eared pages and scribble notes along the pages of questions to ask my daughters professionals. The combination of personal and professional is like no other book I have read. It is a mix of hope, sorrow, comradery and help all in one place. There are several stories I will read again and I would recommend this book to any one who is living the battlefield that is special needs parenting.

On a personal note I want to thank Kay and Adrienne for giving myself and Jennifer the idea, permission and support to use the name of the book for our local Utah support group.

-Lindsay