Well, It's not like I am in denial that my son is autistic. I have spent the past year in services to help him in every way possible, OT, Speech Therapy, Play therapy, therapy preschool and even swimming. As I reflect on the last year since his diagnosis last October, I have gone through every stage of the grief process - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (this is when I am my most powerful) and after yesterdays test results, I am right back where I was before. It is so baffling to me. Only, I am now realizing, I was maybe in a bit of denial and now I am depressed. I think we (me and my husband) keep thinking that he is going to be just fine and fit right into a regular-ed setting, because we have seen so much growth in him this past year, but we still have far to go. His psychologist had the ADOS test administered. Which apparently, is the "gold standard" of autism tests. The good news is he is by no means the most severe on the spectrum but definitely scores at or just above the cut-off. With this test and his scores we can get him in the public special -ed system no problem, but I was hoping for more. By more I mean, where he just gets to be a regular kid in a regular class, with other regular kids. So, waaah! I know, I am whining. I just get weary. Don't you?
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